Guy: I’m glad we waited until marriage to have sex.
Girl: Me too.
Guy: To be honest, I’m a little nervous about tonight.
Girl: Sex is like jazz. Just go with what you feel.
Guy: Yeah, but I never cry after listening to jazz.
Girl: …
GUEST CONCOCTED CONVERSATION BY HAMPTON YOUNT
Hampton Yount is a talented young comedian in LA by way of Washington DC. Every time I see him, he makes me giggle. If you were alone in a bar, there would be nothing better than Hampton walking through the door.
You can download his delightful standup album FOR FREE by cliking here.
Also, his twitter is @hamptonyount
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Wife: I’m leaving you.
Husband: Fucking… I knew you’d pull this shit. Why? Huh why?
Wife: I just can’t do this. THIS.
She motions to the house.
Husband: What the hell is that supposed to mean?
Wife: The way you treat me, the way you treat women! You just don’t care!
Husband: I treat you great! I provide every fucking thing for this family. YOU don’t care. I never hear a thanks either.
Wife: It’s not about things, it’s about respect. And you’ve never given a bit of it.
Husband: What, I’m supposed to “respect” your bullshit? Yeah, your BULL-SHIT, Carol. You go back to college to take a women’s studies class and suddenly nothing I do is good enough. And I paid for those classes! Remember that? I told you it was a bad idea.
Wife: Right there!
Husband: What?!
Wife: It’s the way you talk down to me. It’s the way you essentially think women are a joke.
He takes a sip from the breast mug.
Husband: You’re out to lunch.
