A wife walks outside and sees her husband spraying the front yard.
Wife: I don’t even know what you’re doing, but I know I wouldn’t approve.
Husband: Let’s just say that no dog is ever going to crap on our lawn again.
Wife: Oh god, what are you spraying?
Husband: Nothing, go back inside. And tell the kids they can only play in the back yard from now on.
Wife: What the hell are you spraying?!
Husband: It’s just a little rat poison.
Wife: Are you serious? Rat poison?
Husband: A little rat poison. There’s a difference.
Wife: A little rat poison can kill a dog.
Husband: Hey, you crap on my yard. I crap death on your dog’s face.
Wife: What are you even saying? You’re trying to poison dogs. Dogs!
Husband: I’ve been pushed too far! A man has his limits!
Wife: Idiot, you’re going to kill all the grass!
Husband: No yard looks as good as vengeance feels!
Wife: Who are you?!
15 minutes later.
Daughter: Mom! Dad! Come look! There’s a bunch of squirrels sleeping in the font yard.
Wife: Do you want to apologize to me before or after cleaning up squirrel corpses?
Husband: Fuck.
18 Notes
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xisforxmen said:
I want to smack the asshole who did that in the face. Or anywhere painful really.
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