GUEST CONCOCTED CONVERSATION BY DAVE ROSS Dave Ross is a real go getter. He hosts the podcast Sex Nerd Sandra, makes videos, and runs two very successful shows - Holy Fuck and Two Headed Beast. He also once didn’t make out with this girl after a show and I made fun of him for about an hour. You could’ve made her night Dave. You could’ve given her a story that she would have remembered her entire life. But noooo, you had to be all weird about it. I still love you. davetotheross.comdavetotheross.tumblr.com@davetotheross ————————————————————————————————- Steve:  You weren’t lying. That is totally crazy. Bob:  I think my favorite part is that Santa is dead and the spider’s eating his balls. Steve:  Really? I’m more partial to the craftsmanship. Bob:  Aw man, you don’t like it. Steve:  No, I’m serious! I’m kind of an art buff, you know, and if there’s one thing I like, it’s a perfectly symmetrical christmas-light spiderweb holding a to-scale, dead Santa Claus. Bob:  You don’t like it! I thought it was funny. You don’t think it’s funny? Steve:  I think it’s terrifying! This is the suburbs! Santa, the purest symbol of happiness in our culture, is being stripped of all life and nutrients by the most disgusting, vile, and horrific insect known to man, and you’ve done this ON TOP OF YOUR HOME. Bob:  You are taking this WAY too seriously. Steve:  Am I? Remember when we were kids, and that neighbor kid who burned ants with a magnifying glass told us Santa was dead? Do you remember what that felt like? Bob:  Yes! It was great! That night was the first time I masturbated! Steve:  No, that’s what I’m saying! Your childhood ended! Right there! Over! Bob:  (laughs) No, you don’t get it. I masturbated THINKING about how Santa was dead. Steve:  (pauses) Holy shit, you’re masturbating right now. Bob:  Steve, I’m ALWAYS masturbating.

GUEST CONCOCTED CONVERSATION BY DAVE ROSS

Dave Ross is a real go getter. He hosts the podcast Sex Nerd Sandra, makes videos, and runs two very successful shows - Holy Fuck and Two Headed Beast. He also once didn’t make out with this girl after a show and I made fun of him for about an hour. You could’ve made her night Dave. You could’ve given her a story that she would have remembered her entire life. But noooo, you had to be all weird about it. I still love you.

davetotheross.com
davetotheross.tumblr.com
@davetotheross

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Steve:  You weren’t lying. That is totally crazy.

Bob:  I think my favorite part is that Santa is dead and the spider’s eating his balls.

Steve:  Really? I’m more partial to the craftsmanship.

Bob:  Aw man, you don’t like it.

Steve:  No, I’m serious! I’m kind of an art buff, you know, and if there’s one thing I like, it’s a perfectly symmetrical christmas-light spiderweb holding a to-scale, dead Santa Claus.

Bob:  You don’t like it! I thought it was funny. You don’t think it’s funny?

Steve:  I think it’s terrifying! This is the suburbs! Santa, the purest symbol of happiness in our culture, is being stripped of all life and nutrients by the most disgusting, vile, and horrific insect known to man, and you’ve done this ON TOP OF YOUR HOME.

Bob:  You are taking this WAY too seriously.

Steve:  Am I? Remember when we were kids, and that neighbor kid who burned ants with a magnifying glass told us Santa was dead? Do you remember what that felt like?

Bob:  Yes! It was great! That night was the first time I masturbated!

Steve:  No, that’s what I’m saying! Your childhood ended! Right there! Over!

Bob:  (laughs) No, you don’t get it. I masturbated THINKING about how Santa was dead.

Steve:  (pauses) Holy shit, you’re masturbating right now.

Bob:  Steve, I’m ALWAYS masturbating.