Boss:  Ok kid. I need ideas. Employee:  I’m full of ‘em boss. How about a… Boss:  I’m going to stop you right there. I need ideas that won’t make any make money. I’m talking real stinkers. Employee:  But why boss? Boss:  My wife is getting the company in the divorce, so I need to turn it into a real bag of garbage. Employee:  How ‘bout this? BlenderClock. It’s a blender, but it’s also a clock. BlenderClock.  Boss:  Johson, that is awful. Employee:  Thank you! Boss:  But it’s still useful. I need something that’s both absurd and pointless. Employee:  What about a Solar Powered Heart? Boss:  Like, an artificial heart for cardiac patients? Employee:  Nope. Just a plastic heart with wings. Boss:  What does it do? Employee:  The wings flutter as the sun hits the solar panel. Boss:  Is that it? Employee:  Yep. Boss:  You brilliant sonabitch. That is so fucking dumb. Employee:  It’s green too since it uses solar panels, but not green since it’s a waste of plastic.  Boss:  What a contradiction. Employee:  Like cats in space. Boss:  You really know how to put a business in the crapper. Call China and tell ‘em to make a million. 

Boss:  Ok kid. I need ideas.

Employee:  I’m full of ‘em boss. How about a…

Boss:  I’m going to stop you right there. I need ideas that won’t make any make money. I’m talking real stinkers.

Employee:  But why boss?

Boss:  My wife is getting the company in the divorce, so I need to turn it into a real bag of garbage.

Employee:  How ‘bout this? BlenderClock. It’s a blender, but it’s also a clock. BlenderClock. 

Boss:  Johson, that is awful.

Employee:  Thank you!

Boss:  But it’s still useful. I need something that’s both absurd and pointless.

Employee:  What about a Solar Powered Heart?

Boss:  Like, an artificial heart for cardiac patients?

Employee:  Nope. Just a plastic heart with wings.

Boss:  What does it do?

Employee:  The wings flutter as the sun hits the solar panel.

Boss:  Is that it?

Employee:  Yep.

Boss:  You brilliant sonabitch. That is so fucking dumb.

Employee:  It’s green too since it uses solar panels, but not green since it’s a waste of plastic. 

Boss:  What a contradiction.

Employee:  Like cats in space.

Boss:  You really know how to put a business in the crapper. Call China and tell ‘em to make a million. 

2 Notes

  1. concoctedconversations posted this