A husband enters his house holding three katana-like swords. Wife:  No. I told you. No weapons in the house. Husband:  But these are powerful ancient weapons! Wife:  Where did you get these “powerful ancient weapons”? Husband:  A truck stop. Wife:  (sighs) How much? Husband:  Only $100! For three of them! One for you, one for me, and one for the baby. Wife:  Teddy can’t play with a sword. Husband:  He has to learn to defend himself. Unless you want him to be murdered. Because that’s what’s going to happen if you don’t let me train him. Wife:  For the last time, you’re not a ninja. Husband:  Then why do I have three katana-like swords! Wife:  Wait, katana-like? Husband:  That’s what it says on my commemorative receipt. Wife:  Honey, when they put “like” on the end of a word, that means it’s not as good as the real thing. Husband:  Then how do you explain “childlike”? Wife:  Just get rid of the swords. Husband:  But they come with a display stand. Wife:  Why is that important? Husband:  It shows motherfuckers that we’re not to be fucked with. Wife:  We live in a gated community. Husband:  But are those gates for keeping people out… or keeping us in? The husband unsheathes a sword. The wife starts rubbing her temples.

A husband enters his house holding three katana-like swords.

Wife:  No. I told you. No weapons in the house.

Husband:  But these are powerful ancient weapons!

Wife:  Where did you get these “powerful ancient weapons”?

Husband:  A truck stop.

Wife:  (sighs) How much?

Husband:  Only $100! For three of them! One for you, one for me, and one for the baby.

Wife:  Teddy can’t play with a sword.

Husband:  He has to learn to defend himself. Unless you want him to be murdered. Because that’s what’s going to happen if you don’t let me train him.

Wife:  For the last time, you’re not a ninja.

Husband:  Then why do I have three katana-like swords!

Wife:  Wait, katana-like?

Husband:  That’s what it says on my commemorative receipt.

Wife:  Honey, when they put “like” on the end of a word, that means it’s not as good as the real thing.

Husband:  Then how do you explain “childlike”?

Wife:  Just get rid of the swords.

Husband:  But they come with a display stand.

Wife:  Why is that important?

Husband:  It shows motherfuckers that we’re not to be fucked with.

Wife:  We live in a gated community.

Husband:  But are those gates for keeping people out… or keeping us in?

The husband unsheathes a sword. The wife starts rubbing her temples.

11 Notes

  1. vonrain reblogged this from concoctedconversations
  2. risewiththesunfallwiththenight reblogged this from concoctedconversations
  3. ronbabcock reblogged this from concoctedconversations
  4. concoctedconversations posted this