If you have an idea for a Concocted Conversation, please submit! Just keep it under 200 words.
THE ROLLERBLADE BLADE RUNNER
A meeting is taking place in the Rollerblade board room circa 1998.
Marketing Executive: We need a new series of in-lines for this new generation. Ladies and gentlemen of the board, it is my honor to present the “Blade Runner” series.
The Marketing Executive displays a “Blade Runner” box and the board members applaud uproariously. A Junior Executive hesitantly raises his hand.
Junior Executive: Hate to say this, sir, but there’s already a very popular movie called Blade Runner. Calling our skates “Blade Runners” may confuse people.
Marketing Executive: Exactly! People will think they’re buying a DVD copy of the movie Blade Runner. Imagine their surprise and delight when they open the box and find a pair of high-end in-line skates!
Junior Executive: I don’t know if that’s a good business strategy, sir.
Marketing Executive: Oh, really? Well, we’ve already tied in to the special edition of “Blade Runner.” They’ll get the full Rollerblade experience even if they do purchase a copy of the film.
Junior Executive: What? But sir, there’s no in-line skating in that movie.
Marketing Executive: There is now! The Blade Runner Special Edition DVD is exactly the same as the original movie, only now all the characters are on Rollerblades. We digitized the actors so they look like they’re a few inches taller and gliding through every scene. It’s taken years. It was unbelievably expensive.
Junior Executive: I really don’t understand, sir.
Marketing Executive: You know what I don’t understand? How you’re still working here. All in favor of firing this idiot?
In unison, all the board members “yay.” The Junior Executive solemnly skates out of the boardroom.
Well then stay tuned, because tomorrow marks Concocted Conversations official
WEIRD ASS PREGNANCY PHOTOS WEEK
What you are about to see cannot be unseen.